Riley Anne Prewett (rileyannemcg) wrote,
Riley Anne Prewett
rileyannemcg

I am an absolutely horrible person. First Amycus now Quirrel...when did I become...this? I just...I don't know. I just don't know.

Amycus...no. Carrow. Perhaps if I think of him like that it will be easier for me to do what I have to. And that's make him hate me. I have to make him hate me. He can't keep protecting me in the middle of a fight like that. What if that were a real life or death situation? His friends would have killed him. I know they would have. I could just tell. I can't let him do that. Not for me. I won't watch anyone die to protect me. I'm doing the right thing. But why do I feel so awful about it?

And then Quirrel. That I...I'm just fucking horrible. I was upset but he did not deserve that. He...fuck

I...I really owe you an apology. You didn't deserve that at all and I feel absolutely horrible for saying it, especially as it's not true. I...I really like you most of the time. You make me laugh and I like talking to you because it's an actual intellectual discussion unlike some of the others I end up having here. And I know you're a good person because if you weren't you would have left me with the Baron that night and...I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry. I was upset and stressed out and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have. I don't expect you to accept my apology or anything, but you still deserve one.

You know, I actually wish I was taking Ancient Runes now. The lesson sounds like an interesting one.

Anyway, the weather here, while usually horrible, is even worse than usual. It's April 16th. I should be running around outside and having fun! Instead I'll be somewhere in the dungeons practicing my Strengthening Solution and hoping that this will help me on my NEWTs. It'll be a fantastic evening, let me tell you.

Right. Well I need to get back to work. God knows how long it'll take me to get this right.
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